Smses from The Mother (as best as I can remember)

Sms 1: China’s baos have been found to be 60% cardboard filling! Have you been eating well? Tried cooking rice again?

Sms 2: More and more problems! China’s pet food has been recalled off the shelves! Have you been keeping up with news? Remember to stay abreast, good for your pol sc

Sms 3: China’s restaurants have been found serving rats!

Sms 4: Remy catching frogs today! Had his paw on a big one near the orchid shed, it got away. Kor lost padi chix for dinner.


Yes, China’s been getting a lot of bad press lately. Found some fuller reports on them today. The Mother does her best, but there’s only so much she can fit in a sms.

1. A cat lover who purportedly lost 100 of her feline friends flagged down a suspicious truck at Nanfang parking lot in Minhang earlier this week. Aboard the Guangdong-bound truck, the woman discovered over 800 furry creatures, most of whom were to be sold to various restaurants (restaurants jes!!! Not 猫肉串stalls!! And Guangdong! Not here! –glare-). Aghast at the sight, Duo, the avid cat collector, managed to cut a deal for all of the poor kittens. She told reporters “The cat dealers asked for $30,000rmb but I bargained them down to $7,800.” Duo now owns almost 1,200 felines.

2. A Beijing restaurant put an innovative dish on its menu this week only to be harshly reprimanded by the local authorities. It seems the dim-sum diner decided to sell dumplings with a creamy cardboard center. The fraudulent jiaozi were allegedly made by soaking cardboard in water and industrial chemicals. This concoction caused the cardboard to lose its pigment thereby resembling low grade pork. “Pork smell essence” and pork fat were then added as the cherry on the top of this poisonous sundae.

3. Due to severe flooding in several counties across China, hordes of mice have been driven out of their natural habitats and have flocked inland, destroying innumerable crops at will and generally being a public nuisance. An estimated 2 billion rodents have invaded towns and cities in 22 different counties. Many areas have begun construction on preventative walls and ditches to preempt further rat inflows. In addition to these precautionary measures, residents have also gone on the offensive, killing an estimated 2.3 million mice and consequently stockpiling roughly 90 tons worth of meat, which can now be used to supplement the cardboard in one’s diet. (well that’s slightly better than what my friend told me – about how to gave up trying to kill all the rats so they just shipped them off to Guangdong where they eat them! :X)

4. In a bid to earn the title of “state-level hygienic city”, Luoyang, in Henan province, launched a cleanliness campaign whereby citizens are paid for killing flies and presenting them to the local government. Over $1000rmb has already been awarded to a handful of insect bounty hunters for their collection of 2,000 fly carcasses. (Remy could join in and help earn his keep!)

hey it rhymes!
smses from the mother
as best as I can remember
the mother does her best
but there's only so much she can fit in an sms